When My Parents Pass Away

We do not realise – mom and dad are going to die. So are we. Our felt sense of reality does not include our own death. We doubt the one thing that is not open to any doubt at all. However, once we make ourselves aware of this inevitable truth, we can take steps to control the way in which it is dealt with. Instead of being caught off-guard, flooded with shock and grief and a mountain of sudden questions, we can consciously face the fear that we unconsciously dismiss all the time. We can begin to understand what it means to be mortal and do everything we can to overcome any unnecessary burdens associated with this fact.

Epictetus once said, ‘I cannot escape death, but at least I can escape the fear of it.’ This entails having conversations with your parents about death before it arrives, and following an organised procedure.

Here is what you can do:

Phone 079 394 2574 and ask for Janine. Book an appointment. Then visit ExecutorLaw.co.za and orientate yourself a little online. Finally, ask and answer these questions with respect to your loved one who passed away, or may still pass on:

To remain afraid of death is to remain afraid of reality. We need to act bravely, sometimes on our parent’s own behalf. Focusing our time and energy on controllable conditions which attach to death is unbelievably productive. Not only for our mental and emotional health, but for our financial wellbeing too. Preparing for the death of mom and dad is not pessimistic, it is an actual thing, the urgency of which we need to get into our heads fast. We can use this knowledge to provide them with the dignity their regards deserve, and what they would have wanted. This enables the rest of the family to experience a smooth administration of the deceased estate.

With respect to the law, we need to remember that succession will take centre-stage the moment our parent/s die. Death it multifaceted – it is not just emotionally traumatic. A badly administered estate will exacerbate your grief and anxiety. Unless we consult these technical and difficult questions, and hire someone with experience to administer the deceased estate, pain and suffering will endure. Do not let a large institution put you on a call centre for years on end, robotically neglecting your emotions. Make sure you are in control of your parent’s legacy.

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